I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
