Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
