It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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