I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
