Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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