FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
