THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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