I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
