idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So much Jack, so little girl.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
