i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
