I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize