PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
