I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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