Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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