last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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