they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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