I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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