Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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