Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
