put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
