Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
