Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
