420 ftw
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize