He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
