Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize