I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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