I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
