So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
