Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦â€â™€ï¸
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