he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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