hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
