I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
How does it feel to date your dad?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
