I'm pants shitting drunk right now
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Holy sore nipples Batman
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
