I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
