Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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