hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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