STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
