Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
