Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And my parents said I crawled through the house
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
