I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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