Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
