The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
