my mouth tastes like poor choices
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
