I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
