Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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