Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
