So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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