just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Someone came in the potted fern
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
