I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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