Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Rumble strips road head = magical
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
