with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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