I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
