Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Everclear isn't food dammit
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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