Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
