I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Pants are for mortals
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
