I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
