They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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