Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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