Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
