Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
