i was born a porn star she said
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
