I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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