doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
