why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Everclear isn't food dammit
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
