I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
