Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
