Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
