PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
