well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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