Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
