I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
