my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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