he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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