We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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